TMI….#141. Will do THIS weeks later.

1. Do you believe in marriage? WOW. What a tough question. But looking at it, yes I do. I see my parents who have been married 40 yrs and are still giddy over each other. I see othe people like them. I know it can work. AN with my religious beliefs (Basically Catholic) I sort of have to.

2. What is marriage to you?
It is supposed to be a partnership. It is supposed to be two people cleaving into a single unit

3. If you are married, why did you do it? If you are not, why have you not married?
Why?  Truthfully, we got married when we did because da Missus was pregnant. Now we went on to lose that child. But we were already planning to get married. We wanted to show our commitment to each other, to God and to others around us.


4. Do you believe in divorce?
Funny to say this seening how I am divorced once and currently seperated, but I really do not believe in divorce except for extreme circumstances. Obviously, if you spouse turns into some who an alocoholic, drug user, rapist or beats you, of course I think divorce might be the only option. But I also think that divorces are to easy to get. I believe that too many people look as that as the easy option. A lifetime commitment is work. Hard, hard, miserable work at times. But with the work some rewards should come. If both partners are willing to give and work.

5. If you are divorced, why did you do it? If you have not, are there certain circumstances under which you would agree to a divorce?
Why did I get divorced? Well, I just figured it was a good idea once she kicked me out.

Bonus (as in optional): [ed note:I am not trying to spark a get political debate, I am much to superficial for that] Do you believe that same sex marriages are a threat to traditional marriages?

*SIGH* This is tough for me. And it is probably a matter of semantics, but I do not like the term "marriage" used for same sex couples. While I support their unions, and beleive they should have all the same rights as "traditional" married couples, it is just the use of the word "marriage" that bothers me. It is probably my religious up bringing on that one. But to answer the questio, no, I do not think that they are a threat to traditional marriages. The only thing they are a threat to is bigotry and closed mindedness.

Man … I have missed this guy

Last thursday a female worker and I were walking out of work. I asked her what her plans were for the weekend. She told me a little of this and a little of that. She then asked if I knew where a certain museum was. I told her I did, and asked her why. She said that they were having a Jazz Concert there and a free bar!!!!!!

I told her to drop her stuff off at her car and let’s go. And we did. Now turns out the bar was NOT free, so we ended up going somewhere else ($7.50 for a beer? I don’t think so.) We ended up at talking at a different bar for well over 4 hours. Yes, I asked a girl out. She said yes and did not back out of it.

Talked to an old friend yesterday. She is currently out of town. I made a few comments about not seeing her in a while. We continued talking and then she told me when she would be back in town and stated that I need to keep my schedule free during that time. I know this girl well enough to know that there may never be a long term future, but we always have fun together. And we also usually end up in bed together.

I invited someone to come over for dinner this weekend. The same girl I went out with last Thursday. She said yes. Well, a probable yes. Still a long time between now and Saturday. Holy Crap I need to clean my house.

I never have had a chance to talk to the girl who stood me up two Saturdays in a row. Well, let me rephrase that. I did see her, we got into a spat.  She is now not talking to me. Sorry, I am too old for high school games. Hell, I did not even play them well 20 yrs ago either.

There was a time where I had little trouble asking girls out. I seem to be getting there again. And while I did get stood up 2 Saturdays in a row, I am not letting it get to me. And more importantly, I am not letting that and other failures in the amour department define me. I know who and what I am…..Or at least I am slowly rediscovering me.

 

All in all……..Good Times.  

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Guilty? Yes, but…..

With everything going on in my life, this is probably a poorly timed post, but I just got to ask my readers…

 

I just finished watching the show "Cold Case". It is a fictional show about a group of dectectives who try to solve old cases. The episode I just watched was about a man who killed wis wife. It was ruled an accident, and the murder took place in 1943. Sixty years later, the case gets unearthed. The case is solved, and a 80+ yr old man is led away in cuffs. He confessed once all the facts were laid before him. And since the killing, he seemingly led a perfect crime free life

So here is my question, should an 80+ yr old man go to prison for a 60+ yr old crime? In most states there is no statute of limitations for Murder. I know there is not a statute of limitations for murder here in Texas.

 

 Thoughts??????? 

Thinking…..

Will be more beer tonight……Not due to depression, but to hopefully clear the crap from the old brain box and help me figure out where to go and what to do. SO much going on right now, but even with all the shit that may come down, I am feeling good about myself again. And that is a good thing. Hell, even this weekend as I got stood up, I really wanted to know what her issue was instead of what was wrong with me. Yeah, There was a lot of self-doubt and self depreciation that crept in. But, for the most part, I kept it in check.

Even while getting a bit drunk.And I talked to the girl that stood me up. There is interest there. A lot of interest. But she is one who has to commit all the way. And as long as my wife is in the picture, she is not sure that she can. LOL…..She sure wants to. Her words, not my ego talking there. Actually the quote was “I know what would have happened if I got you alone……Mmmm MMMmmm mmmmm”

It is so nice to feel wanted. And hell, let’s call it what it is. It is a bit nice to feel lusted after. It has been a while since I have felt that.

She is scared. Scared of what happens if we start something, especially with me still being married. Even more so, with me still being in love with da Missus. But she also knows da Missus and considers her a good friend. And she also knows our whole history. And she also knows our children and is madly in love with them. She knows that da Missus and I are still not resolved, but my heart currently still belongs to da Missus. I would cut off all contact with this new girl to regain what da Missus and I had. But maybe I need to realize that what I am looking for with da Missus only exists in my head and in my fantasies.

Hell, I am scared, because I do know a solution, but I cannot do it.

*SIGH*

This sux………And is awesome

Self Medication

To get out of my current depression, I am playing poker while listening to Linkin Park, Dead or Alive and REM.

 

Beats the Hell out of mass quanities of alcohol or drugs…..

 

Does not compare to a good blow job though…. But what does??

 

Edited………Fuck it, Bring on the beer

Much ado about nothing….

emoticon Well, it looks like my "date" is going to get canceled. While the reasons she gave all sounded ligitimate, it just feels like it is me. Agian. Getting a bit tired of this. And hell, I bathed, shaved clean and even dressed up a bit today.

 

This is getting a bit old.

emoticon

***GULP***

For the first time in close to 10 yrs……I, without any prompting, and without anyone else setting it up, have asked a girl out on a date. Details may follow.

 

Right now, I am just trying to get my nerves under control. Vomiting on a date is still considered rude, right?????

On the other hand….

emoticon Something very interesting just happened here at work. Things are looking up. We shall see.emoticon

Death……And other Happy Subjects.

I know a lot of people are not going to like this post. I know a lot of people are going to think a lot less of me. But what the hell. I really don’t care anymore.

A co-worker of mine passed away this weekend. This particular co-worker and I never saw eye to eye. We never really even liked each other. And right now, since I am acting as a supervisor, I have to deal with getting all of the paper work taken care of. It is a serious pain in the ass. And this particular employee has been a pain in my ass for a number of years. And she has been this way for a number of people up here.
And as disgusting as this sounds there are a number of people up here who are glad she is gone. I am not saying that anyone is happy that she has passed away. No one is happy about that.
And it got me to thinking. Is that the way I am looked at? Will I be missed? Will people care that I am gone? Will there be grieving or celebration?
And the more I think about it, there are some that will be happy I am gone. Their life would be easier without me around. And yes, there are probably a few that will even be happy that I am dead.
I guess what I have to figure out NOW is what do I do with this revelation????

No….I am not thinking about suicide………..