Code Name D.A.D. … Defeat Anger Daily

I guess at times I seem inconsistant. And I can explain that. I AM!!!!!!

da Missus is feeling clausterphiobic tonight, and does not want me sleeping next to her. And I have absolutly no problem with that. Odd?? Maybe.

But I guess the point the point of this post and the last is that I am finding comfort in myself. It is odd. It is nice. It is a slow process. For so long I relied on making my partner or those around me happy. I am now finding happiness, comfort and calm within myself.

I just went back and re-read my last post, and realized that it gave the total wrong message. I do not want it to end. I do not think it is going to end soon. I never meant to say that. The more I read that post…..The more it obthers me. I do not really know where some of that came from.

 The point that I was trying to make was that I am finding myself again, and no matter what happens, I am going to a) survive, b) succeed, AND c) EXCEED. And this will happen, no matter what happens elsewhere. I am going to lock that blog until I can figure out where some of that post came from.

The best part is that the more confidence and security I am finding in myself, the more confidence and security I am gaining.  There  will  still be  post of self doubt and anger, but they will be fewer I hope.

Was it you that said, "How long, how long,
How long to the point of know return?"  —Kansas

You get to a point when you need to realize that no matter what all you do, it is and will not be enough. You look and see all that you do, but what is seen is what you do not do. You see your positives, what is seen is you negatives. Does this make you a failure???

It does.

It makes you a failure if you have a specific goal. The question becomes what to do from there.  I cannot quit.

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.”
 W. C. Fields

 Quitting may cost me everything, but continued trying and failing will destroy me