Code Name D.A.D. … Defeat Anger Daily

With everything going on in my life, this is probably a poorly timed post, but I just got to ask my readers…

 

I just finished watching the show "Cold Case". It is a fictional show about a group of dectectives who try to solve old cases. The episode I just watched was about a man who killed wis wife. It was ruled an accident, and the murder took place in 1943. Sixty years later, the case gets unearthed. The case is solved, and a 80+ yr old man is led away in cuffs. He confessed once all the facts were laid before him. And since the killing, he seemingly led a perfect crime free life

So here is my question, should an 80+ yr old man go to prison for a 60+ yr old crime? In most states there is no statute of limitations for Murder. I know there is not a statute of limitations for murder here in Texas.

 

 Thoughts??????? 

Will be more beer tonight……Not due to depression, but to hopefully clear the crap from the old brain box and help me figure out where to go and what to do. SO much going on right now, but even with all the shit that may come down, I am feeling good about myself again. And that is a good thing. Hell, even this weekend as I got stood up, I really wanted to know what her issue was instead of what was wrong with me. Yeah, There was a lot of self-doubt and self depreciation that crept in. But, for the most part, I kept it in check.

Even while getting a bit drunk.And I talked to the girl that stood me up. There is interest there. A lot of interest. But she is one who has to commit all the way. And as long as my wife is in the picture, she is not sure that she can. LOL…..She sure wants to. Her words, not my ego talking there. Actually the quote was “I know what would have happened if I got you alone……Mmmm MMMmmm mmmmm”

It is so nice to feel wanted. And hell, let’s call it what it is. It is a bit nice to feel lusted after. It has been a while since I have felt that.

She is scared. Scared of what happens if we start something, especially with me still being married. Even more so, with me still being in love with da Missus. But she also knows da Missus and considers her a good friend. And she also knows our whole history. And she also knows our children and is madly in love with them. She knows that da Missus and I are still not resolved, but my heart currently still belongs to da Missus. I would cut off all contact with this new girl to regain what da Missus and I had. But maybe I need to realize that what I am looking for with da Missus only exists in my head and in my fantasies.

Hell, I am scared, because I do know a solution, but I cannot do it.

*SIGH*

This sux………And is awesome

To get out of my current depression, I am playing poker while listening to Linkin Park, Dead or Alive and REM.

 

Beats the Hell out of mass quanities of alcohol or drugs…..

 

Does not compare to a good blow job though…. But what does??

 

Edited………Fuck it, Bring on the beer

 Well, it looks like my "date" is going to get canceled. While the reasons she gave all sounded ligitimate, it just feels like it is me. Agian. Getting a bit tired of this. And hell, I bathed, shaved clean and even dressed up a bit today.

 

This is getting a bit old.

For the first time in close to 10 yrs……I, without any prompting, and without anyone else setting it up, have asked a girl out on a date. Details may follow.

 

Right now, I am just trying to get my nerves under control. Vomiting on a date is still considered rude, right?????

 Something very interesting just happened here at work. Things are looking up. We shall see.

I know a lot of people are not going to like this post. I know a lot of people are going to think a lot less of me. But what the hell. I really don’t care anymore.

A co-worker of mine passed away this weekend. This particular co-worker and I never saw eye to eye. We never really even liked each other. And right now, since I am acting as a supervisor, I have to deal with getting all of the paper work taken care of. It is a serious pain in the ass. And this particular employee has been a pain in my ass for a number of years. And she has been this way for a number of people up here.
And as disgusting as this sounds there are a number of people up here who are glad she is gone. I am not saying that anyone is happy that she has passed away. No one is happy about that.
And it got me to thinking. Is that the way I am looked at? Will I be missed? Will people care that I am gone? Will there be grieving or celebration?
And the more I think about it, there are some that will be happy I am gone. Their life would be easier without me around. And yes, there are probably a few that will even be happy that I am dead.
I guess what I have to figure out NOW is what do I do with this revelation????

No….I am not thinking about suicide………..

Just an update…..

da Twinsies…….Doing great overall. Had to pull them out of Day care due to family medical reasons

da Missus …….. Doing better. She is out of work on disability due to migraines. The have a preventative med for her that seems to be working for the migrains, however, it is flaring up other health issues. Lets all pray that once she sees the neurologist and gets this med leveled out, good things will happen.

da Job ………. Back doing a short management fill in stint. Apparantly I am good enough still to fill in. Walk in a found out an employee had passed away. Sorry to sound like ass, but damn there is a lot of paperwork to do on that.

da Family…….. My father is going through some health issues. As of ytet, we do not know how bad they are. Could be just an infection, or cancer in a final stage. Awaiting test results.

da Marriage ….. Will discuss in next post. Too much to talk about right now.

D.A.D. …….. As always, I am making one step at a time. I feel that changes happening soon. Big changes. I just don’t don’t know if I am going to be the cause of them yet.

 

I want to warn everyone, this post is about getting things out. It is about how I feel and a lot of random thoughts going through my head. It may be totally unfair; it may be totally irrational. But there are certain things I need to get out….

 

You have been warned.

 

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