Could have been better, but still not bad….
Damn, it is so good not to be constantly pissed anymore. Yeah, that is a good chunk of the reason she left me. I, too, could not let stuff go a lot.
No…..More accurate statement is neither of us would change our ways. She would piss me off. I would fester and boil. She would lock up or look elsewhere to talk and whatever. i got angrier about that. She did what she had to do to avoid the anger. And so it got to the point she no longer wanted to be with me.
I miss her. I probably will always miss her. But here is the funny part. I am getting to a point where I am not sure I can take her back. If she ever does want to come back, I am not going to let thing be the way they were. I will have certain expectations. A lot of these expectation are mainly for myself.
I guess that is not true. I will always take her back, especially since there are da Twinsies. I will always love her. That will never, ever change. I guess it is all pointless though to talk about. I know she has zero interest in coming back to me. And I can honestly say, it is now her loss.
I know a lot of what is helping me is the fact that I am dating again. And while I have only been out on dates with one person so far, I know that there are others who have interest and vice versa. I see this now. The best part is, from what I can tell, their interest is in me. Yeah, I have been at a point where more than one person wanted to date me, but they were doing to piss off the other girl I was with, to fuck with my life or to try and stir jealousy in someone they were trying to be with. These seem to be interested in ME. Little old me. ROCK ON.
Life keeps coming at you, and you can fight it, swim with it, just keep your head above the waves, or…….You can grab a board AND RIDE THE FUCKING WAVE!!!!!!!
That is where I am now. And it is where I plan to stay.
RIDE THE WAVE. CARPE DIEM AND ALL THAT SHIT.
And Remember…….Life, in the end…..No one will get out of it alive.
And now, it is time for me to continue jamming with the Gopher……….(See me dancing @ the 1 minute mark)
Yes, it is definitely good not to be pissed all the time. That’s where I was too in my marriage.
I can understand a lot of what you are saying here. People are who they are. Sometimes a person can change a bit about who they are, but only if they want to do so. If they are happy with themselves and who they are they are not going to change just to make another person happy. That’s what destroyed my marriage too. Neither of us was willing to change enough to satisfy the other.
So life sucks. But it doesn’t really either because there’s a lot of good stuff out there, and we just have to find it. So the last relationship didn’t make it. Give yourself some time to recover. Let yourself feel the pain in all the forms it takes. Have some good righteous anger, have the sadness, feel the feelings whatever they are. It’s the only way to work through them and push on to the other side, and you definitely want to make it to the other side. It’s much nicer there, a new start, a fresh take on life without the baggage of unresolved feelings and issues from the past.
Hang in there. You’re getting there.
Comment by Trueself — September 9, 2008 @ 2:02 pm